reflect

Enjoying my stay here in Coronado. View of the Coronado Bay Bridge on a dreamy afternoon

Happy New Year 5784! We are in the midst of a 10 day period of reflection and prayer, beginning with Rosh Hashanah (“Head of the Year” in Hebrew) until Yom Kippur (“Day of Atonement”). Jews pray for G-d’s guidance, yearn to become closer to Him and follow His laws, while taking stock of the past year. We are all guilty of impatience, miscommunication, and unrealistic expectations.

Prayers and rituals on Rosh Hashanah and throughout the week help Jews think about how to improve their relationships, how to act and speak to others, reconnect and recommit to G-d. On Yom Kippur we fast, attest to our failures, pound our hearts for each transgression, culminating in celebration, tears of joy, and a big feast. G-d willing we are inscribed in the Book of Life and G-d will look upon us and grant us the blessings of good health, food and shelter, and most importantly, a stronger connection to Him and our communities.

if some of you have been following my journey these past few years, you have a glimpse of how tenuous my life has been with multiple diagnoses of lymphoma and countless treatments. Remission comes quickly, yet it is fleeting.

And now it has returned, again, for the sixth time in 5 1/2 years. It’s possible another type of infusion could extend my life. If it doesn’t work, then I have months to live.

So, how do I keep the faith? My expectations have shifted—from praying for a longer life to praying for a better life and a painless death at home surrounded by loved ones.

I find gratitude, seek joy, and tune into my senses. Here in Coronado I walk two blocks to the bakery and get my favorite chocolate chip cookie. On the way I inhale that heady combination of smoke and salt from the local brewery. They’re firing up the grill for fish tacos, hamburgers, and bacon!

I walk a few more blocks and marvel at the diverse tapestry of people enjoying the day at the Ferry Landing in San Diego Bay. At the end of the pier people are fishing; older folks are leisurely drinking coffee on benches; Muslim women wearing head coverings are pushing their children in strollers, while pregnant with more babies; Mexican families are setting up their grill with hot dogs and taco fixings, while tying down Feliz Compleaños balloons and gently putting a big pink bakery box on a folding table; friends are setting up a short legged table adorned with candles and flowers for an engagement party; photographers are filming lavishly styled quinceañeras while little children and young adults are chasing each other in the water with bathing suits or shorts and tank tops. The deep sound of the ferry horn blares five times, announcing its arrival from downtown or its departure along the bay back to downtown.

The sky is a deep blue and the clouds are puffy and soft. I breathe in heartily, imagining there are fluffy pillows filling my cheeks. The ocean may look murky with sea weed and sand, but the feel of the water on my feet is soothing and cool, like a gentle massage. I swim in the bay in the late afternoon, feeling weightless, and marvel at the light that changes to orange, pink and purple. The windows of the skyscrapers across the bay reflect this light while their night lights turn on. Top that off with a soft breeze, pastel colored clouds scattered on the horizon, and gentle ripples on the water to create a magical moment.

Being inscribed in the Book of Life is not only based on good health and longevity.

Spread your joy and gratitude. Make it contagious for others. Glean your faith for a life that is filled with wonder, not unanswered wishes for a longer life.

Let’s celebrate this miracle of our survival with a renewed acuity of the senses.

5784. I am ready. Shana Tovah, Happy New Year.

It’s always a good day with a view of the bay!